Before I get too far in the story/biography I'd like to set the foundation and intent. As mentioned in the previous article, this is largely an exercise for me to recover from decades of stress by writing out my thoughts and experiences and conclusions. Now I'm a very opinionated person and have seen and done a lot of things in my life all from both sides of the isle whether professionally, personally, politically, religiously or anything else that has more than one side. I try very hard to not give opinions on something that I've never experienced. I figure the best way to understand and decide how to live is to know both sides and gain as much information (experience) as possible via observing logical cause and effect principles. Some of my conclusions may offend. (i.e. I despise political correctness and any other form of truth substitute.) And if so please do not take it personally as it is not intended that way. These are necessary for me to honestly 'get things out' of my system in order to move on to a settled mind and peace at last. You'll also notice I will be quoting a lot of Scriptural references (I love God, love Scripture, church, not so much - I think I picked the best 2 of 3.) The reason is I've been an avid Bible student since 20 years old and every single thing I've observed and experienced from that point has shown that God is true, and all mankind are liars. (yes, including a lot of 'religious' people) I can almost guarantee you'll not hear what I'll be saying in most churches. Don't worry, there will be no preaching or asking for money, and I'm not trying to 'save' or convert anyone. I'm only offering a passenger seat to my journey and maybe something will be helpful for you as well as me along the way. And there will be no personal relationship stuff. I'll just leave that as nobody can be good at everything...
So with that being said, I'll start at the beginning. Birth. According my my older relatives I came out of the womb and shortly thereafter started taking everything apart I could get my hands on to figure out how they worked, and with a few exceptions was able to put them back together! Being an only child for my first 8 years I had to entertain myself for the most part. My mother was often unwell when I was little so I spent a great deal of time at my grandma's house, who bought me pretty much nothing but toys that I can build things with. (erector set, Lincoln logs, tinker toys, etc...) For that I will be forever thankful, because otherwise without that interest and curiosity I could have ended up in a lot of trouble. So why is that relevant? Well, it is one of the large stones in my foundation and key to my modus operandi which I summarize below.
Q: Why are we here in the first place?
A: To learn and overcome our base nature. Everything else is vanity and nothingness as it all turns to dust.
Ecclesiastes 1:13-14 (NKJV) Solomon says, 13: And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under the heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised. 14: I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.
Proverbs 16:32 (KJV) He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh (conquers) a city.
So that became and still is my mission. Now everyone knows that if you exercise with a feather rather than weight you'll receive no benefit. The same is with life. Bruce Lee once said 'Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.' - He's right. One thing that drives me crazy is when something bad happens and people say, "What did I do to deserve this?" Well, if it's not directly related to our own stupidity, it's because God is interested in developing us. That's a good thing! See Deuteronomy 8:5, Proverbs 13:24, Hebrews 12:6-7 Knowing that in itself makes the situation much easier to deal with and you're more likely to learn the lesson that was intended from it the first time. (my head is thick so it usually takes more than once)
So that's the foundation on which the rest of this story is based on. I've been though a lot of pain and awful situations but am thankful for it now and wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't know what I know now without it. (like the Star Trek Next Generation episode: Tapestry)
Although I'll try to post at least twice a week, one of my demons/conditions can make me inconsistent but that's something I am working very hard on. See you in the next post!